


Wrong Delivery Gone Right

by ashtraythief



Series: masquerade fills [14]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Porn, Blow Jobs, Chad being Chad, Dirty Talk, Facials, Lap Sex, M/M, Porn star Jensen, Safer Sex, Topping from the Bottom, i.e. bad porn dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 04:59:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16298591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtraythief/pseuds/ashtraythief
Summary: Written for the prompt: Jared's a delivery boy and while dropping off a package, he gets confused for the "new guy" on a porn shoot. He tries to explain the situation until he sees the guy he's supposed to fuck.





	Wrong Delivery Gone Right

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dephigravity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dephigravity/gifts).



> My final fill for 5th round of the spn masquerade on Livejournal to be posted here. Thank you, dephigravity, for the wonderful prompt.  
> I can only apologize for the Chad (though it might have been the ~~best~~ most insane I've ever written.  
>  Many many thanks to ilikaicalie for tireless betaing!

 

The guy in the foyer is reading _Better Homes and Gardens_. He shoots Jared a brief glance and points towards a door to the left. “Down the corridor, second door to the left. It’s stage two, you can’t miss it.”

Jared huffs in annoyance but follows the direction. Why the guy at the entrance couldn’t sign for the package is beyond him, but the faster he’s out of here, the quicker he’ll be done tonight. Not that there’s anything waiting at home for him besides leftover pizza and the eleventh season of Criminal Minds, but hey. You gotta take what you can get.

He finds the door and opens it. It’s a film set. There are cameras, screens, lighting, and people running around hectically. Someone brandishes a big dildo and in the back, two people struggle with what looks like a swing hanging from a beam. A blond guy is manically waving a megaphone around. “I said I want the green rug, people, _green_! We gotta make Jenny’s eyes pop!”

“Stop fucking calling me that or I’m gonna pop you one!” a dark angry voice shouts from somewhere in the back and half the people start laughing.

Jared shakes his head and approaches the first person he sees. “Sorry, I’m supposed to deliver a package…”

It’s a tiny brunette who gives him an amused smile. “Method actor, huh? I like it. I’m Gen, the production manager.” Then she turns to the madman with the megaphone. “Chad, the delivery guy is here.”

“Excellent,” Chad bellows into the megaphone and comes over to them. His eyes light up when he sees Jared. “Finally something’s going right here.” He reaches out but instead of grabbing the package he wraps a hand around Jared’s biceps. “Very nice. How tall are you?”

Jared’s so thrown by the question, he answers it honestly. “6’5”.”

Chad squints at him. “And how much do you bench press?”

“What?”

Chad pokes at Jared’s chest. “280? 300?”

“Erm, 320 usually, though I did manage 355 once…”

Chad raises the megaphone again. “Set change people, we need a free, sturdy wall! Jenny, I finally found you a wall fuck!”

Jared’s aware that he’s staring, but he has no idea what’s going on. The only rational explanation is that this is a porn shoot and the crazy guy with the megaphone thinks Jared’s here to play the delivery guy and just, no. That’s impossible. Also, he’s not wall fucking any Jenny. Especially not in front of a camera.

“Look, there seems to be a mistake,” Jared starts but Chad waves the megaphone in his face. “I know, I know, the script says blowjob, kitchen counter sex, and rug sex, but a guy who can actually lift Jensen is rare. Like a unicorn. You, delivery boy, are a unicorn. We just have to seize the opportunity! Heh, seize. Get it?” He waggles his eyebrows.

“But—”

“Do you have a back condition?” Chad’s squinting at him again.

“No, but—”

“Butt condition?”

“NO!”

Chad claps his hands. “Excellent!”

“Okay, but look, I—” The words die in this throat.

A guy saunters over to them, dressed in a dark robe that barely falls down to his knees. He’s got short, dark blonde hair stylishly swept to the side, big eyes and plush lips, and the most enticing bowlegs to ever grace this world. And okay, yeah, that’s Jay Ross, the guy who’s been helping Jared through his lonely nights for the past few months. Jared never thought he’d be that much into porn, too cheesy and too over the top, but Jared dares anyone to not start drooling over those lips. Jared swallows.

“I told you to quit calling me that.” Jay Ross glares at Chad.

Chad gives him a smug smile. “Ah, but look what I found you! What do you think?” Chad asks through his megaphone, then gestures at Jared.

Jay Ross eyes Jared with pursed lips. “Looks good.” He stretches out a hand to Jared. “Hey, I’m Jensen.”

“That’s a pretty name,” Jared says stupidly. “I’m Jared. Delivery guy.”

Jensen laughs. “For today anyway.”

Jared gapes, and Jensen gives him a soft smile. “First day?”

Jared just nods.

Jensen grins. “Don’t worry, I’ll take it easy on you.” Then he winks and Jared dies a little.

He can’t have sex with Jay Ross. He can’t be in a fucking porno.

But then Jensen leans in and strokes a finger down his cheek. “Oh my god, you’re adorable.” He turns to mad megaphone guy. “Chad, can we do the other script?”

“Other script?” Chad shrieks into the megaphone.

Several people clutch their ears and Jared is surprised no glass has broken yet.

Jensen just nods calmy. “Yeah, the seduction one.”

“House husband and pool boy. It’s on schedule for tomorrow.” Gen consults a big glittery planner. “But we could push it around.”

Chad looks suspiciously at Jared. “But he’s clearly a delivery boy, not a pool boy.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “I can seduce a delivery boy.”

“But seduction is a long game!” Chad throws up his hands. “There’s build up and furtive glances and skinny dipping. You can’t just seduce some blushing virgin in ten seconds in the door frame!”

Jensen raises his eyebrows, then saunters over to Chad, fingers dancing up his chest and chin and he murmurs with a whiskey rough voice “Can’t I?” and presses an open-mouthed flutter-soft kiss against his chin.

Chad’s mouth falls open and his eyes close before he shakes himself and tries to give Jensen a stern look. He looks mostly deranged. “Fine.” He stabs a finger at him. “But only because it’s you.”

Jensen blows him a kiss and Chad raises his megaphone again. “Okay people, script change! We’re doing house husband seduces poolboy, except he’s seducing the delivery guy so clearly we need a new fucking title. No one respects my art…” Grumbling, he stalks off.

Jared wonders if someone spiked his coffee this morning. But then Gen drags him off. “Okay, you got the uniform but you need makeup. Do you want a fluffer?”

Jared helplessly looks to Jensen and she laughs. “Good point, no one who gets to fuck Jensen needs a fluffer.”

She pushes Jared in front of a makeup table and he gratefully sinks down in the chair. He can’t believe this is happening.

“Dani will be right with you,” Gen says and walks away to talk to a camera guy.

A redhead with a cute button nose introduces herself as Dani. “I make the people pretty, but you really don’t need a lot of help. Oh my god, what do you put in your hair? It’s so soft and shiny?” She keeps chatting and applies makeup while Gen comes back and presses a script into his hands.

 _Taking a Dip_ , it says and then there’s the most ridiculous porn dialogue.

Panicked, Jared looks at Dani in the mirror. “I can’t do this. I, I just can’t—”

Out of thin air, Chad appears next to his chair. “Of course not, no one can learn this masterful writing by heart in just a few minutes. This is never going to work.” He raises the megaphone to his mouth and Dani gently turns Jared’s head away.

“Okay people, order back, this is—”

Jensen rips the megaphone out of Chad’s hands. “Chad, do you trust me?”

“Of course, Jensen, you’re my star.”

“Then let us improvise.”

“Improvise?” Chad manages to shriek just fine without the megaphone.

“Give me an hour. If it doesn’t work, we go back to the original delivery boy script and newbie here will just have to hide his adorable dimples while he goes all caveman on me.”

Jared feels slightly faint because Jensen was in an actual caveman movie once and the scene where he’s thrown over the top’s shoulder, carried off to a cave, laid out on a big fur and fucked within an inch of his life is still one of Jared’s favorites.

Chad deliberates, then raises his megaphone again. “Okay people, delivery boy seduction is still on.”

No one changes what they were doing because clearly no one paid him any heed in the first place. Jensen looks at Jared and winks again.

Jared’s dick twitches in his pants and he thinks _oh god_.

“So Jared,” Jensen says when they’re getting ready to shoot.

Jared’s about to shoot a porno with Jay Ross and he doesn’t know what the most insane part of this is. Probably that his dick’s already chubbing up. Jared never considered himself an exhibitionist, but his dick clearly doesn’t care. At least not when the porn star of his dreams is concerned.

“Do you want to play an absolute virgin, a gay virgin, or just a really shy guy?”

Jared’s mouth opens, but no words come out. Jensen reaches out, traces his fingers along his chest and shoulders. “I mean, it would be a shame to waste those muscles.”

Jared gulps.

“Tell you what, how about you’re really shy, so I blow you and then ride you and then, for the second act, you can fuck me against the wall. Deal?”

Jared’s nodding before he can stop himself.

Jensen smiles. “Awesome.” He looks down to Jared’s crotch. “Hey, how big are you? Just so I know what to expect.”

And Jared thanks the heavens that in sophomore year, his roommate insisted on smoking the old weed they found tucked away under a loose floorboard in the closet which lead to them measuring their dicks.

“Eight and a half inches,” he stutters out and Jensen’s face lights up.

“My favorite size!”

Jared has clearly died and gone to heaven.

 

Somehow he ends up at the door of a fake house with a fake package in his hand—he has no idea what happened to the real one and he doesn’t particularly care at the moment—and rings the doorbell. The camera man is directly behind him and Jared barely manages to suppress a hysterical laugh.

When Jensen opens the door, gives him smoldering bedroom eyes and says, “where do I sign?” Jared does laugh.

Oh god, what if he messed it up and he’s done, out, and he’ll never get a chance with Jensen again? But Jensen just laughs with him. “Oh god, you’re right, that was terrible, let’s do it again.”

So they do. Again and again.

“What? I’m getting my Christmas present early this year?

“Oh wow, that’s a _really_ big package.”

“Do you need help with that package?”

“Oh my, I did not expect to get such a nice package today.”

Jared will never be able to hear the word package again without thinking of Jay Ross’s pornographic mouth. When this is over, he’ll need a new job.

Chad keeps yelling cut into the megaphone, Jared and Jensen keep laughing, until after the twelfth take, Jensen shouts, “okay enough! Let’s do this differently.”

“What do you want me to do?” Jared asks.

“Just go with it.” Jensen winks and closes the door.

Jared walks three steps away, walks back again and knocks on the door.

Jensen opens, gives Jared the same appreciative bedroom eyes he’s been giving him the last twelve times but asks “where do I sign?” in a normal voice. Which is still erection inducing because Jensen is sex on legs in a dark silky robe, but at least Jared doesn’t get a hysterical laughing fit.

He hands the fake clipboard to Jensen who signs it. Then he reaches for the package, but when Jared hands it to him, Jensen stumbles a bit.

“Oh wow, that’s so heavy. You made it look so easy.”

Jared helps him because Jensen actually looks like he is about to fall.

“Do you think you could carry that into my living room for me?”

“Sure,” Jared says and follows Jensen into the set.

There are more cameras, but Jensen doesn’t give Jared any time to be distracted because as soon as Jared sets down the package and turns around Jensen shrugs out of his robe, only wearing a tiny pair of black, skimpy underwear. His skin is ivory pale and smooth, dotted by the freckles Jared is a little ashamed to remember he counted when he paused the films and blew up the screen. While Jared’s still staring—drooling, probably—Jensen goes to his knees and opens Jared’s pants.

“What—”

“I’m sorry,” Jensen says, rubbing his face against Jared’s crotch. “I had a whole spiel planned to seduce you, planned it from the moment I opened the door but god, I just can’t wait, I need your dick in me right now.”

Jared moans, can’t help it. His dick is getting seriously hard in his pants and Jensen actually licks his lips when he takes him out.

“Oh, I’m so gonna take my time with you later, but now I just want you to fuck my face.”

“Oh god,” Jared says faintly, and then Jensen’s mouth wraps hot and wet around Jared’s dick and Jared’s brain kinda short circuits.

He doesn't really realize what’s going around him, the cameras are just whirring dark shapes, Chad’s instructions—“grab his face Jared,” “Jensen, pull down his pants, lets get a shot of his thick thighs”—are background noise because Jared can feel nothing else but Jensen sucking his brain out through his dick.

He grabs Jensen’s face and his hair and when he manages to focus on Jensen’s face, Jensen’s plump full lips sealed around his dick and Jensen’s long dark lashes fluttering in pleasure, Jared thumbs Jensen’s lip, can’t help himself.

“That’s good, Jared, push your finger in there too.”

He does and it’s good, so good—

“Now fuck him harder. Jensen, hands on his butt, oh yeah, that’s a nice butt, definitely need good shots of that butt…”

Jensen's fingers dig into Jared’s ass, pulls him in tighter and oh fuck, he’s going to come, he can’t—it’s been too long—

“Jen—oh god, I’m, I can’t—”

Jensen pulls back slightly but his bottom lip still drags along the crown of Jared’s dick, smearing precome around when he speaks. “Yeah, baby, give it to me. Want you to come all over my face.”

Jared moans again and Jensen goes back to sucking his dick and, oh fuck, that’s it, Jared can’t—“Fuck!”

Jensen pulls back and Jared comes all over his upturned face, long ropes of come hitting his open lips and his cheeks. Now Jared is really going to die.

Then Jensen opens his eyes, smiles at him like a satisfied cat and licks his lips. It’s a miracle that Jared doesn’t spontaneously combust.

“Aaaaaaand cut! Everyone take five.” Chad hops over to them like an energizer bunny on speed, brandishing his megaphone like a victor’s flag. “Excellent! A plus! Ten out of ten, let’s bang again!”

Jensen leans forward and laughs against Jared’s thigh. It makes Jared’s dick twitch.

Jensen looks up at him with a leer, Chad leans his head in which would kill Jared’s stirring dick in a second if Jensen’s hot breath wasn’t still blowing gently against his spit slick dick.

“No one take five, we can continue!” Chad shouts and he’s so excited he forgets his megaphone. “Okay, Jensen get that boy on the couch and ride that big cock!”

And just like that, Jared’s getting hard again. There’s probably something seriously wrong with him but then Jensen gets up and steps into his space. The camera whirs closer for a close up.

“And action!” Chad yells.

Jensen kisses Jared, long and wet. Jared fumbles to touch him, can finally get his hands on all that skin.

Jensen sighs appreciatively. ”That’s it baby, touch me.”

And Jared does. He runs his hands all over Jensen’s shoulders and back, chest and ass. His skin is soft and smooth, his lean muscles bulge strongly and Jared wants to get his mouth on every inch of it.

But Jensen draws back and starts talking. “God, your cock tasted so good baby, so fucking good, but I need it in me. I need you to fuck me, need that big fat cock filling me up, can you do that? Can you fuck me, baby?”

Jared nods, wonders if he should speak but Jensen kisses him and pushes him back towards the couch. On the way, Jensen rips off Jared’s shirt and undershirt, then pushes his pants down.

“Cut!”

“What?”

Jensen laughs. “The boots. There’s just no sexy way to get those off.”

Right. That actually makes a lot of sense. So Jared takes off his boots, and his socks too, and then Jensen steps between his legs and they’re separated by nothing except Jared’s dark boxer briefs—he’s so glad he’s not wearing his spiderman boxers today—and the skimpy piece of satin Jensen is wearing as an excuse for underwear. And he’s hard, thank god, a wet spot forming at the tip where the fabric stretches precariously over his hard dick.

Jared reaches for it, hesitates. “Should I…?”

Jensen reaches out to ruffle his hair. “That’s adorable, baby, but on a dick like yours I can come untouched.”

“Wait, we’re not rolling!” Chad screams in panic. “Someone remember that, that was a great line, action, camera, action, Jensen do that again! With the hair ruffling! Jared, more puppy dog eyes! Action, action, action!”

“Puppy dog eyes?” Jared asks helplessly and Jensen laughs.

“That right there.” He puts a finger on the creases on Jared’s forehead. “Adorable.”

Jared sputters, Jensen laughs—which is quickly becoming Jared’s favorite facial expression, because Jesus that mouth and those little creases around the corners of his eyes and—

“Smitten flirting isn’t until _after_ the wall fuck, Jesus.” Chad sounds exasperated, even through the megaphone. “Back to puppy eyes and dick hungry house husband!”

Jensen gives him the finger but pushes his hips towards Jared anyway. “Your line, baby.”

Jensen’s still hard, pretty big cock still wrapped in those tight almost panties and Jared has no problem reaching out again. “Can I—”

Again, Jensen reaches out to ruffle his hair. “That’s adorabble, baby, but on a dick like yours I can come untouched.”

Jared stutters and Jensen leans forward, obscenely pushing his ass out in the process and licks at Jared’s dick through his briefs until it’s straining again. Then he pulls Jared’s briefs down and Jared lifts his hips to help him. Jensen moves torturously slow but eventually they’re off and Jensen goes to town on Jared’s dick. Somehow he also manages to slick up his hands with lube—was there a person giving Jensen lube? Man, porn shoots are weird—and climbs into his lap, rubbing their dicks together.

“Gonna help me get ready, huh? Gonna get me all wet and open with your long fingers to get me ready for your big thick cock?”

Jared’s hands fly around to Jensen’s ass and Jensen lets out a breathless laugh. “Yeah baby, that’s it.”

Jensen’s fingers, lube slick, join Jared’s and together they push into Jensen’s tight, warm hole.

“Oh fuck, you feel amazing,” Jared breaths out.

“Fabulous acting!” Chad shouts. “What an honest and raw surprise! Keep it up, delivery boy!”

“Oh god.” Jared can feel a hysterical laughing fit coming on, hiccups once but Jensen leans in again and kisses him.

There’s more friction against Jared’s dick and Jensen’s clenching around his fingers and he’s really fucking glad he just came like ten minutes ago otherwise he’d seriously embarrass himself.

He keeps fingering Jensen and it’s actually easy to take directions—“hold him open, let’s get that shot, nice, massage that ass, leave some fingerprints”—especially because Jensen is a moaning writhing mess in Jared’s lap. Seriously, Jensen is pulling out all the stops; the dirty talk, the kissing, the lip biting, the head thrown back, the grinding, the begging, the moaning and it’s better than every single one of Jared's fantasies he’ll never admit to indulging in under the shower.

“I’m ready, baby, so ready for your cock, come on, fill me up, need your dick so much, baby.” Jensen keeps bite-kissing his neck, drawing back enough to let out his string of pleas. “Please, need that big cock.”

“God, I’ve been dreaming about this forever.”

Okay, so maybe he _is_ owning up to his mild obsession, but Jensen just rolls with it. “Oh god, me too, kept ordering packages just so that I’d see you again and today I just couldn’t take it anymore, the way you parade your big package around in those cargo shorts, baby, that’s just too much, need to have you now.”

“Anything,” Jared stammers out and Jensen sneakily rolls a condom on Jared’s dick, raises himself up and slowly, oh so fucking slowly, sinks down on Jared’s cock.

“Oh fuck.”

“Yes.”

“Yes please!” Chad yells through the megaphone. “Close up! Rosey, I want your camera so close that you can count the freckles on Jensen’s ass!”

Jared’s hands instinctively tighten on Jensen’s ass because he wants those freckles all to himself. Jensen sinks down on Jared like a burning sheath, tight wet pressure and Jared digs his fingers deeper into Jensen’s ass. Jensen leans back, goes soft and pliant in Jared’s arms, his back bending into a beautiful curve until his chest is almost horizontal.

“Yeehaw!” Chad yells. “Ride him cowboy!”

Jensen rolls himself up again and runs his hands over Jared’s chest. “My god, you are a work of art.”

Jared shakes his head. “Nothing compares to you.” And oh god, now he’s quoting Sinead O’Connor and Jensen laughs, and he’s the most beautiful thing in the entire universe. He raises himself up and slams back down and Jared groans out his name.

With a beatific smile, Jensen starts fucking him in earnest and Jared does his best to match his rhythm. The camera guy whizzes around them, catching them from all angles, but Jared doesn’t care.

He gets lost in Jensen, how tight he is around his dick, how hot, how their sweat slick bodies grind against each other, how Jensen’s hands keep tracing his chest and shoulders, how Jensen's back and ass muscles bunch under Jared’s hands, how hungry Jensen’s mouth is, how soft his lips, how needy his moans—Jared can’t get enough of any of it.

“Okay, that’s great boys, wrap it up!”

“Oh god, finally,” Jensen mutters into Jared’s ear. “I’ve been on edge ever since I got your dick in my mouth.”

It hits Jared like a sucker punch, because it’s whispered and it sounds so fucking honest. Jensen slams himself down harder on Jared’s dick, changes the angle and a litany of profanities falls from his lips until he comes all over Jared’s chest.

Jared is helpless to do anything but watch and hold Jensen. When Jensen’s done, he keeps moving. “Come on, want it,” he whispers.

“Come shot! Come shot!” Chad yells, completly deranged. “On his back, come shot, oh my god, what are you, amateurs? I want a fucking come shot!”

Jensen swings himself around and Jared follows him onto the couch, pulls out his dick and the condom off because while he’d love to come inside Jensen he also wants to see him marked with his come again. He starts stroking himself and aims at Jensen’s face.

Jensen opens his mouth, lips swollen and red. “Give it to me.”

And Jared does. It’s the best orgasm of his life.

After, he falls down bonelessly on top of Jensen. “I’m sorry,” Jared mumbles, “I swear, I’ll get off of you in a second, I’m so sorry.”

Jensen shakes with silent laughter. “Don’t worry, take a minute, you earned it. But then I need to stretch my legs, because damn, my poor hips.”

Guilty, Jared pushes up. “Are you okay?”

Jensen looks up at him, eyes shining and skin glistening with sweat. “Yeah. More than. That was great.”

Jared grins, can’t believe this, that the great Jay Ross thinks he’s good at sex. That a porn star would think Jared is actually good, that—oh fuck. A porn star. Jared just screwed a porn star in front of a camera. He really needs to find a dark corner to freak out about this, because he’s not really a porn actor, they can’t just use this without him signing anything, can they?

His internal freak out is interrupted by Chad’s megaphone voice. “Well, then it was a double booking and you were late and I just discovered the greatest delivery guy _ever_ so get out. My god, can you even bench press three hundred pounds?”

Jensen hums and slides a finger up and down Jared’s biceps. “Speaking of. I’m pretty sure Chad’s gonna give us a food break but I’m really looking forward to that wall fuck later.”

And well. Maybe this porn actor thing is not the worst thing that ever happened to Jared. He’s sure it pays better that delivering parcels. And the benefits are pretty spectacular.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can come find me on tumblr [here.](http://ashtraythief.tumblr.com/) My ask box is always open.


End file.
